Tag Archives: positive mindset

Perspective is Everything

It all started with a Facebook post…a Facebook memory, actually, that a woman shared on her Timeline recently.

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It was a picture of her daughter, 2 years ago, sitting poolside, in a tankini, eating a sandwich.  It was summer.  The sky was a crystal clear blue.   The sun was glistening off the gentle waves in the water.

The caption she wrote with the picture reads:  Really missing our pool days this year.

See, her daughter, who is 7, is fighting cancer for a  second time.  And instead of spending the summer outside, drinking up the sun and swimming, she and her daughter are spending their time rotating between the children’s hospital and The Ronald McDonald House.

Here is where the perspective part comes in…

I have three, healthy children but they have been driving me crazy this summer.  There’s been a lot of bickering and not listening and acting out because Daddy is away at school.

I have found SEVERAL gray hairs that were not there a few months ago.  I have had more wine in the past couple of months than I have had in the past year.

It takes 2 hours, literally, for us to get ready to go to the pool.  There’s the packing of the pool bag (which is often interrupted by breaking up fights between my children) – change of clothes for 4 people, snacks, water bottles, extra swim diapers, baby wipes.

Then there’s the part where I have to get all the kids changed into their swimsuits.  I have to fight with my toddler to put it on because everything is “no” these days.

Then there’s the part where I have to get them into the car.  This, as many of you Mamas know, is like herding cats.  All of the sudden they can’t find their shoes that I have been asking them to put on for the last 30 minutes.  And then the baby makes a dirty diaper and I have to change him.  And then my daughter decides she needs to bring 5 books, 3 dolls and a pen and paper so she can writer her own book.

“Can you carry these, Mommy?”  She asks me as she thrusts her superfluous items into my hands, which are already full with a  pool bag, diaper bag and a baby in a car seat.

By the time I get everyone strapped into their seats – I’m exhausted.

There were days this summer that I found myself hoping it would rain so that going to the pool wasn’t an option.  Sometimes I would find excuses as to why we couldn’t go.  Sometimes I found myself rolling my eyes and losing my patience as I tried to get everything ready while they yelled at each other about whose turn it was to play with the little red car.

And then…that post popped up in my Newsfeed…and I thought – Well, shit.

Those two, that Mama and her daughter, would give anything to be able to go to the pool every single day, no matter how long it took them to get ready.

This weekend, I took the kids to the pool every day.  And as I wrestled my toddler into his bathing suit, stopped to feed the baby and packed the millions of things into the pool bag, I was grateful.

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So grateful that I could take my kids to the pool…that we could spend the afternoon there and play Sharks and Minnows and eat watermelon.

Life is ALL about what you make of it.

There are some things you can’t control, of course.  BUT – there are some things you most definitely can – like your thoughts and perspective.

If you change your perspective, does that change everything?

My answer:  YES.  (Case and point:  I happily packed up the pool bag this afternoon PLUS packed dinner for all the kiddos and the whole time I was thinking – even as my toddler, in nothing but his swim diaper, ran away from me as I tried to get him changed – this is going to be fun)

NEVER lose sight of what is TRULY important.

We live in a busy world.  It’s easy to take things for granted.

I will continue to try to do better.  I hope you do, too.

If you would like to learn more about this little girl’s story or how you can help through monetary donations, then go here:

https://www.facebook.com/TeamSavannahFightingLeukemia/

Fear is Fuel

me fearYou know that feeling you get as you contemplate doing something big?  Making a big change?  Making a huge leap?  Taking a chance?

 

Your stomach tightens.  Your heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings.  Maybe your hands shake.  A thousand thoughts race through your head simultaneously yet you are able to pinpoint what each one is trying to tell you – STOP –  they all say.

“Don’t do it.  Go back.  It’s too scary.  It’s not going to work.”

And then…the “what if’s” start…

What if people think it’s a dumb idea?

What if I fail?

What if I lose money?

What if I can’t figure it out?

What if people criticize me?

What if…what if…what if…

All of this…all of these counter-productive thoughts and jittery feelings can be summarized in one four-letter word…

FEAR.

People think “fear” is an ugly word – BUT – what if it weren’t?

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When fear wells up inside of you, what if, instead of backing off, you embrace it?  What if you welcome it with open arms, knowing that when you feel that fear it means you are onto something…it means that you are heading in the right direction?

Kind of counter-intuitive, right?

But, think about it for a  minute.  If something is easy, is it scary?

No, of course not.  Because it’s easy.  If it’s easy, you know you won’t fail – you know the outcome.

The unknown can be down right terrifying.  The “what-if’s” are never scarce and the critics are constantly whispering in your ear.

If you are afraid…that is when you know you are CLOSE – close to something big.  Close to something life-changing.  Close to EXACTLY where you need to be.

Fear means…go for it!  Go for what makes you want to pee your pants.

If it’s easy, it’s not really worth having.  It has little value.

It’s safe to NOT try.  It’s safe to remain comfortable, to keep doing the same thing – day in and day out.  It’s safe to stay with the status-quo and do the ORDINARY things everyone else around you is doing.

BUT

If you want to be EXTRAordinary…then there is a different path for you.

If it’s HARD.  If it’s SCARY.  If you can’t imagine life without it (“it” refers to whatever your particular goals are) then it is PRICELESS.  All the hard work…the time…the effort…the energy…it will all be WORTH it.

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Use that FEAR to FUEL your fire…to ignite your desires…to smoke the nay-sayers and to light up your life in ways you have only dreamed about.

 

 

 

 

 

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You can find me on Facebook @thisfitlife

Just Go For It

I’ve been taking a lot of risks lately – not physical risks like skydiving or bungee jumping…but more of the emotional type of risks.

I have just been going for it – and guess what?  It feels AHH-MAZING!

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I’ve been reaching out to people and asking them to be a part of my team (Team Fight For Fit).  I’ve been asking people if they would like to join challenge groups to work on their health and fitness.  I have been connecting with old friends I haven’t seen in a while (like years) and asking them to hang out.

I am going after what I want.  I am going after what I want my life to look like.  I’m being more authentically ME.

Even when the people I reach out to don’t respond or they say no – you know what?  I feel PROUD.  I’m proud of myself.  Proud that I tried.  Proud that I won’t keep wondering “what if” because now I have an answer.

The rejections I get.  The silence on the other end.  It means I’m LIVING.  It means I’m working towards my dreams.

And do you know something else I’ve recently realized?  It’s not about whether the person says yes to joining my team or not.  It’s not about whether the person responds or not to my offer…it’s actually NOT about the outcome at all.

Before, I used to think it was ALL about the end result.  That’s how you measure success – how many “yes’s” you get, how many people you recruit, how much money is in the bank – BUT I’m here to tell you it’s NOT!

As I put myself out there more and more, share my personal thoughts and feelings, share my transformations (inside and outside) I realize it’s all about the PROCESS.  It’s about who I am becoming.

I am becoming STRONGER.  More confident.  More sure of what I want for myself.  Of who I want to be.  Of my purpose in life (besides wife and mother).

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So, today I say to you:  Do what scares the CRAP out of you.  Do that one thing that you are afraid to do.

Climb that wall.  Jump that hurdle.  Because, what’s on the other side is BEAUTIFUL.  It may not look like what you expected, BUT it’s beautiful all the same.

 

 

Blessings in Disguise

Summer is winding down.  (Already! Can you believe it?)  School supplies are already piled up on the shelves in the stores.  Fall fashion has already started filling the innards of the magazines at the supermarket checkout line.  People are already talking about trading in their bikinis for skinny jeans and what they are doing for Labor Day.

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It’s truly mind-blowing how fast time goes.  My daughter, my baby girl, will be going into first grade and my son will be attending preschool.  It’s hard to fathom, that in less than a month, we will be flying overseas and spending the next three years of our lives there.

As I reflect back on the past few months, I can attest to the fact that this summer has been especially crazy for us – moving out of our house, our house that we brought our third child home to, a house on a street where the neighbors were absolutely wonderful to living out of suitcases while visiting family for several months as we prepare to move to Europe.

Yes, this is stressful.  Moving is always stressful.  It’s hard on the family as a whole, the kids and the marriage.  I told my husband, “I’m surprised more couples don’t get divorced after they PCS.”

On top of getting ready to move to another country and not having a place of our own, my husband is away at school for the summer.  And do you know what the kids like to do when he is gone?

I bet you can guess – they like to act exponentially more crazy.  I’ve got a 5 year old who is going on 16, a 3 year old who throws impressive tantrums, and a 6 month old who is totally chill (Thank God!)

But, despite all of this, you want to know something funny?  As I watch my three year old screaming and kicking, as I watch my 5 year old give me sass and roll her eyes…I think…I’m going to miss this.  I’m going to miss them being this little.  One day they are going to grow up and they won’t be fighting over who gets to sit on my lap.

When I feel like tearing my hair out because I can’t take the whining for one more minute, I try to remind myself (when I can remember, that is) that this is only temporary.  That it could be SO much worse.  That we are SO lucky to have healthy, beautiful kids.  That there are so many people out there who have lost their children and they would do anything to hear that whining.  That there are so many people out there who have very sick children and they would give anything to hear their kids bickering upstairs instead of having to sit in their hospital room faced with the unknown.

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I am LUCKY.  So VERY lucky and I am grateful for it.  Everyday, I thank God for my children, for the blessing that they are.  It’s not lost on me.

Yes, I’m human.  I get frustrated.  I lose my temper.  BUT I know that every fight, every eye roll, every tantrum is a BLESSING.  I know that despite the daily stressors that come with having little kids, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

And Then There Was Light

Darkness comes before the light.

You’ve heard that before, right?  BUT have you ever stopped to really think about what it means?   To think about how that simple, yet powerful phrase, applies to so many aspects of your life?  Of any of our lives?

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Life isn’t easy.  Let’s just say that and get that out of the way because anyone who has been on this planet for more than 5 years (and hasn’t been living in a bubble) can attest to that.

“Darkness” can refer to SO many things – pain, depression, tragedy, relationship problems, health problems, addiction, career issues…the list could literally, go on and on.

If there wasn’t darkness, would you be able to appreciate the light?  To appreciate the good things that come your way as the black veil dissipates and the light shines through?

To be honest, for me, I’m not so sure I would be able to.  It seems, when you’ve had pain or struggle or any kind of “darkness”, the good stuff that eventually comes your way is SO much sweeter because of it.  (It’s kind of like when you put a pinch of salt in cookie batter – it brings out the sweetness exponentially.)

Is that human nature?  Or me just not being able to appreciate something without a kick in the pants?  My guess is – it’s probably a little of both.

Here are some things that I believe and have learned about darkness:

  1. The hard times are…well…HARD but they WILL be followed by good times.  I truly believe that no matter what you are struggling with, there will come a time when it is only a distant memory.
  2. It makes you STRONGER.  You will be amazed at how capable you truly are.
  3. There is a REASON for it.  It may not be evident at first (or for a long time) but I truly believe there is a reason for everything – whether it’s to teach you something, teach someone else something, or pave the way for others.

We will all have to suffer through darkness in our lives – in varying degrees- for short or extended periods of time.  There’s no doubt – it’s part of being alive.

BUT

Here is something else I believe:  There WILL be LIGHT in the end.

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Stay strong.  Keep fighting.  What you want…what you need…is on the other side of the black night.