Tag Archives: positive life

Perspective is Everything

It all started with a Facebook post…a Facebook memory, actually, that a woman shared on her Timeline recently.

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It was a picture of her daughter, 2 years ago, sitting poolside, in a tankini, eating a sandwich.  It was summer.  The sky was a crystal clear blue.   The sun was glistening off the gentle waves in the water.

The caption she wrote with the picture reads:  Really missing our pool days this year.

See, her daughter, who is 7, is fighting cancer for a  second time.  And instead of spending the summer outside, drinking up the sun and swimming, she and her daughter are spending their time rotating between the children’s hospital and The Ronald McDonald House.

Here is where the perspective part comes in…

I have three, healthy children but they have been driving me crazy this summer.  There’s been a lot of bickering and not listening and acting out because Daddy is away at school.

I have found SEVERAL gray hairs that were not there a few months ago.  I have had more wine in the past couple of months than I have had in the past year.

It takes 2 hours, literally, for us to get ready to go to the pool.  There’s the packing of the pool bag (which is often interrupted by breaking up fights between my children) – change of clothes for 4 people, snacks, water bottles, extra swim diapers, baby wipes.

Then there’s the part where I have to get all the kids changed into their swimsuits.  I have to fight with my toddler to put it on because everything is “no” these days.

Then there’s the part where I have to get them into the car.  This, as many of you Mamas know, is like herding cats.  All of the sudden they can’t find their shoes that I have been asking them to put on for the last 30 minutes.  And then the baby makes a dirty diaper and I have to change him.  And then my daughter decides she needs to bring 5 books, 3 dolls and a pen and paper so she can writer her own book.

“Can you carry these, Mommy?”  She asks me as she thrusts her superfluous items into my hands, which are already full with a  pool bag, diaper bag and a baby in a car seat.

By the time I get everyone strapped into their seats – I’m exhausted.

There were days this summer that I found myself hoping it would rain so that going to the pool wasn’t an option.  Sometimes I would find excuses as to why we couldn’t go.  Sometimes I found myself rolling my eyes and losing my patience as I tried to get everything ready while they yelled at each other about whose turn it was to play with the little red car.

And then…that post popped up in my Newsfeed…and I thought – Well, shit.

Those two, that Mama and her daughter, would give anything to be able to go to the pool every single day, no matter how long it took them to get ready.

This weekend, I took the kids to the pool every day.  And as I wrestled my toddler into his bathing suit, stopped to feed the baby and packed the millions of things into the pool bag, I was grateful.

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So grateful that I could take my kids to the pool…that we could spend the afternoon there and play Sharks and Minnows and eat watermelon.

Life is ALL about what you make of it.

There are some things you can’t control, of course.  BUT – there are some things you most definitely can – like your thoughts and perspective.

If you change your perspective, does that change everything?

My answer:  YES.  (Case and point:  I happily packed up the pool bag this afternoon PLUS packed dinner for all the kiddos and the whole time I was thinking – even as my toddler, in nothing but his swim diaper, ran away from me as I tried to get him changed – this is going to be fun)

NEVER lose sight of what is TRULY important.

We live in a busy world.  It’s easy to take things for granted.

I will continue to try to do better.  I hope you do, too.

If you would like to learn more about this little girl’s story or how you can help through monetary donations, then go here:

https://www.facebook.com/TeamSavannahFightingLeukemia/

Fear is Fuel

me fearYou know that feeling you get as you contemplate doing something big?  Making a big change?  Making a huge leap?  Taking a chance?

 

Your stomach tightens.  Your heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings.  Maybe your hands shake.  A thousand thoughts race through your head simultaneously yet you are able to pinpoint what each one is trying to tell you – STOP –  they all say.

“Don’t do it.  Go back.  It’s too scary.  It’s not going to work.”

And then…the “what if’s” start…

What if people think it’s a dumb idea?

What if I fail?

What if I lose money?

What if I can’t figure it out?

What if people criticize me?

What if…what if…what if…

All of this…all of these counter-productive thoughts and jittery feelings can be summarized in one four-letter word…

FEAR.

People think “fear” is an ugly word – BUT – what if it weren’t?

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When fear wells up inside of you, what if, instead of backing off, you embrace it?  What if you welcome it with open arms, knowing that when you feel that fear it means you are onto something…it means that you are heading in the right direction?

Kind of counter-intuitive, right?

But, think about it for a  minute.  If something is easy, is it scary?

No, of course not.  Because it’s easy.  If it’s easy, you know you won’t fail – you know the outcome.

The unknown can be down right terrifying.  The “what-if’s” are never scarce and the critics are constantly whispering in your ear.

If you are afraid…that is when you know you are CLOSE – close to something big.  Close to something life-changing.  Close to EXACTLY where you need to be.

Fear means…go for it!  Go for what makes you want to pee your pants.

If it’s easy, it’s not really worth having.  It has little value.

It’s safe to NOT try.  It’s safe to remain comfortable, to keep doing the same thing – day in and day out.  It’s safe to stay with the status-quo and do the ORDINARY things everyone else around you is doing.

BUT

If you want to be EXTRAordinary…then there is a different path for you.

If it’s HARD.  If it’s SCARY.  If you can’t imagine life without it (“it” refers to whatever your particular goals are) then it is PRICELESS.  All the hard work…the time…the effort…the energy…it will all be WORTH it.

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Use that FEAR to FUEL your fire…to ignite your desires…to smoke the nay-sayers and to light up your life in ways you have only dreamed about.

 

 

 

 

 

If you found this post helpful or motivating, please comment AND share it on your favorite social media platform.

You can find me on Facebook @thisfitlife

Adulting Can Be Fun

Adulting is hard…but… does it always have to be that way?

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My 6 year old niece asked my sister something a few weeks ago that has stuck with me.   It got me thinking.  And it made me kind of sad, too.

She asked:  Can you still have fun when you’re an adult?

Naturally, my thoughts jump to:  Well, let’s see.  There are bills to pay.  Obligations to meet.  Jobs to go to.  Chores to be done.  People to take care of.  And oh crap….taxes are due next month.  And there is NOT enough time in the day to do all the things you HAVE to do so you can do the things you WANT to do because by the end of the day after I cook and do the dishes and entertain the kids and put them in the car and take them out of the car and take care of the baby and feed the baby and change the diapers  all I want to do is crawl into bed and go to sleep.

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Sound familiar?

We are given this one life.  This ONE LIFE.  Is that what it’s really supposed to be about?  Going from one obligation to the next and paying bills and going to work just so we can put food onto the table until we die?

When do we lose our ability to have fun?  When do we lose our ability to play and imagine?  When do we lose our ability to live in the NOW?

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Here’s the thing – I’m not telling you not to pay taxes (please do).  I’m not telling you not to call your Aunt Irene on her birthday or to go to your mediocre job or to not pay your rent on time.

No.

 

What I am saying, though, is this:  You can CHOOSE.

You can choose how you THINK about this life which in turn will affect how you FEEL.

You can change your perspective.  For example, “Gee, I don’t really like my job but at least I have one in this economy.  I’m lucky to be getting a paycheck.”

You have the POWER to create the life you want.  You have the STRENGTH to fight for it.  It is in EACH and every one of us.

The question, then, becomes this:  Are YOU going to tap into it?

Are YOU going to put in the work it takes to do what you want?  Be what you want?  Live where you want?  Have what you want?

OR…

Are you going to play the “woe is me” card and the “Suzy down the street has it easier because her parents are rich” card?

People are AMAZING.  People do amazing things every SINGLE damn day.

People who have lost their legs run marathons.  People who have been told they will never walk again get up.  People donate bone marrow to save other people’s lives.  People overcome addiction.   People walk on the moon.  People fight for their country.  People perform brain surgery.  People survive brain surgery.

You too, can do amazing things.  Truly, you can.

So…here’s what I would tell my niece:  You can absolutely have fun as an adult.  Sometimes it’s harder because there are certain things you have to take care of but you can always figure out ways to have fun and make time to play.  Sometimes problems are harder to figure out when you’re an adult.  Sometimes people let the bad stuff get in the way of the good stuff.  The most important thing to remember is this – You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do if you just TRY.

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Keep dreaming.

Keep imagining.

Keep believing.

Keep doing.

 

If you like this blog then please share it with others!!!!   Leave comments!  Reach out to me!  I LOVE to hear from you!

You can find me @thisfitlife on Facebook

Success and Failure

slight edgeI just finished reading the Slight Edge, by Jeff Olson (I highly recommend it!) and one of the things that resonated with me the most was this:

“If you want success, you need to double your rate of failure.”

 

Kind of seems counterintuitive doesn’t it?  But…think about it for a minute…

In fact, let’s break it down.

What does it mean if you’ve failed something?  It means you’ve TRIED!  Yes, it means it didn’t work the first time (or maybe the second or the third) BUT it means you put effort in.

When you fail, you have learned…you have grown…you have changed and that is NEVER wasted effort.

It is SO much better to fail than to never try in the first place! (Seriously awesome words of wisdom right here, by yours truly)

Have I always thought like this?  Heck no!

I used to think if I failed at something, that was it.  I was done.  It was over and I was not going to accomplish whatever it was I was trying to do.   I thought I wasn’t good enough, strong enough, smart enough, creative enough, fill-in-the-blank enough.

I used to think that I was destined to live a “normal” life.  To go to school, get married, have kids and that was pretty much it.  But I have found, over this past year as I began this health and fitness journey, that life can be so much more for me…or for you… or for anybody!

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I was the only one putting limits on myself.  I was the only one preventing myself from dreaming big.

Then I started coaching.  And I started reading a ton of personal development books and guess what???

I know things to be totally different now!  I know that I am capable of what ever I set my mind to.  I know that I can dream BIG and think BIG and do BIG things.  I know this because anyone one of us…no matter who you are, your background, your education, your current situation….you CAN reach your dreams.

There is NO greater power than the power of determination.  And I am determined, no matter how many times I fail (in fact I hope I fail because that means I’m trying) I will achieve my dreams.

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They are big.  They are scary.  But they WILL happen.

 

 

 

 

Tips to Reaching Your Goals/Dreams:

  1.  Write them down.
  2. Set a timeline (I will accomplish this by….)
  3. Tell others about it (another layer of accountability)
  4. Make a dream board and look at it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
  5. Set short term and long term goals
  6. Read 10 pages of a personal development book daily
  7. Write down some daily affirmations, tape them to your bathroom mirror and look at them every day AND say them out loud to yourself in the mirror EVERY SINGLE DAY
  8. Write down 3 things you are grateful for EVERY MORNING.  (Keep a notepad by your bed so it’s the first thing you do before you even get up)
  9. Surround yourself with others who lift you up, who have big goals and dreams and who are supportive
  10. Believe in yourself – Believe that you can and will do this.

Let Them Talk

At some point in your life (if it hasn’t happened already which I find very doubtful) people are going to talk about you…they are going to talk behind your back…they are going to judge you…criticize you…belittle you…you name it.

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People can be cruel.  People can be haters.  They are afraid of what they don’t know, of what they don’t understand.  They are afraid that you will be better than them, smarter than them, faster than them, stronger than them, prettier than them, more successful than them…and so…they  you down in order to lift themselves up.

You can’t control that.  That’s their stuff…their issues…NOT yours.

But here’s what you can control…YOU!  You CAN control how you feel about yourself, how you see yourself and whether you let others’ opinions (and that’s just what they are – opinions- not facts) affect you or not.

I may have mentioned this before but I was picked on A LOT growing up.  All through elementary, middle and high school I was ridiculed, scrutinized and bullied.  People made fun of me behind my back and to my face.  It didn’t stop until I went to college.

It took me YEARS and YEARS to finally understand…to really grasp the fact that it does NOT matter what others think.

That’s their problem, not mine.

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If they don’t like what I’m doing…If they don’t like who I am or what I stand for…that’s their problem, not mine.

That’s not an easy lesson to learn.  In fact, it’s damn hard!

Sometimes I still find myself falling into this trap of – What will others think of me?  What will they say?

So I have to stop and remind myself that it does NOT matter.  In fact, I say – Bring it On- because it only fuels me to prove them wrong.

So let it be your fuel…let it be something you brush off…let it be something you learn from but do NOT ever let it be how you define yourself.