Tag Archives: fear

Fear is Fuel

me fearYou know that feeling you get as you contemplate doing something big?  Making a big change?  Making a huge leap?  Taking a chance?


Your stomach tightens.  Your heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings.  Maybe your hands shake.  A thousand thoughts race through your head simultaneously yet you are able to pinpoint what each one is trying to tell you – STOP –  they all say.

“Don’t do it.  Go back.  It’s too scary.  It’s not going to work.”

And then…the “what if’s” start…

What if people think it’s a dumb idea?

What if I fail?

What if I lose money?

What if I can’t figure it out?

What if people criticize me?

What if…what if…what if…

All of this…all of these counter-productive thoughts and jittery feelings can be summarized in one four-letter word…


People think “fear” is an ugly word – BUT – what if it weren’t?


When fear wells up inside of you, what if, instead of backing off, you embrace it?  What if you welcome it with open arms, knowing that when you feel that fear it means you are onto something…it means that you are heading in the right direction?

Kind of counter-intuitive, right?

But, think about it for a  minute.  If something is easy, is it scary?

No, of course not.  Because it’s easy.  If it’s easy, you know you won’t fail – you know the outcome.

The unknown can be down right terrifying.  The “what-if’s” are never scarce and the critics are constantly whispering in your ear.

If you are afraid…that is when you know you are CLOSE – close to something big.  Close to something life-changing.  Close to EXACTLY where you need to be.

Fear means…go for it!  Go for what makes you want to pee your pants.

If it’s easy, it’s not really worth having.  It has little value.

It’s safe to NOT try.  It’s safe to remain comfortable, to keep doing the same thing – day in and day out.  It’s safe to stay with the status-quo and do the ORDINARY things everyone else around you is doing.


If you want to be EXTRAordinary…then there is a different path for you.

If it’s HARD.  If it’s SCARY.  If you can’t imagine life without it (“it” refers to whatever your particular goals are) then it is PRICELESS.  All the hard work…the time…the effort…the energy…it will all be WORTH it.


Use that FEAR to FUEL your fire…to ignite your desires…to smoke the nay-sayers and to light up your life in ways you have only dreamed about.






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We All Fall Down

Vulnerability. Shame.  Fear.  Failure.  Disappointment.  Heartbreak.

We have ALL experienced it. If you are alive, you have felt it.  If you are alive, you have been through it.

This does NOT mean you are weak or frail or insignificant. Just the opposite!!!

It means you have LIVED. It means you have LOVED.  It means you have TRIED.  It means you have DREAMED.


Brene Brown says that this is how you measure COURAGE. Courage does NOT belong to those who hide behind the veil of perfectionism.  Courage does NOT belong to those who seek out the easiest path to success.  And courage does NOT belong to those who refuse to ask for help.

Courage is for those who FAIL, who FALL, who TRY, who NEVER give up, who keep FIGHTING, who keep DREAMING.

We all fall down…We all fail…but the question is, then…do we all get back up and TRY AGAIN?

Successful people do. Successful people NEVER give up, NEVER stop fighting, NEVER let others tell them they can’t…no matter how many times they fall down…no matter how many scrapes and bruises they accumulate falling, they get back up.

And…they try AGAIN.

It is easy to stay down when you’re defeated. It’s easy to hide under the covers when you’re sad.   We all want to do it.  I want to do it!!!

But, here’s the thing…successful people ALWAYS get back up. Even if they have to hobble.  Even if they have to limp or stumble or ask for help…they get back up…they show up…and they never, ever give up.

They choose to do the hard thing. They choose to do what others will not.

girl hiding

For many, many years, I chose the easy route. The hide-under-the-covers route.  The coward’s route.  I couldn’t face it.  Any of it.

I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror. I didn’t like who I was.  I didn’t like who I was with.  I didn’t like how others treated me.  I didn’t like how I treated myself.  I didn’t like how I felt on the inside.

BUT I didn’t do anything about it either.

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what to do.

So, instead of reaching out, I hid. I hid behind my forced smile.  I hid behind my makeup and fancy clothes.  I hid from myself, from my friends, from my family…I didn’t let them see the REAL me.  I didn’t have the confidence.  I was too scared.

Gradually, as I got older, I started to care less about what others thought and started to care more about what I thought.

And then…I started coaching…I started helping other reach their health and fitness goals while working on mine and everything changed…my confidence, my body, my self-esteem, how I felt about myself, how I felt about others, how I interacted with my kids…all of it.

I started paying attention to me, to what I needed so I could then give others what they needed.

Now, when I fail, I get back up and I tell myself “It’s okay. Try again.”  Now, when I don’t reach my goals I say, “It’s okay.  You did your best.  Let’s start over and try again.”

And the thing is, I know it really will be okay. Maybe not right now.  Maybe not right at that moment or even a few days later…but it will be…eventually…because I am stronger than I ever knew.  I am more capable than I ever knew.  I am more wonderful, just as I am, than I ever knew.

pic of me


I rather fall, and fall, and fall some more then stay underneath the covers. I rather show up, every day, live my life, wear the cuts and scrapes as battle scars and keep on fighting because every day truly is a blessing.  And without those falls, you haven’t really lived.