Tag Archives: emotional health

Perspective is Everything

It all started with a Facebook post…a Facebook memory, actually, that a woman shared on her Timeline recently.

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It was a picture of her daughter, 2 years ago, sitting poolside, in a tankini, eating a sandwich.  It was summer.  The sky was a crystal clear blue.   The sun was glistening off the gentle waves in the water.

The caption she wrote with the picture reads:  Really missing our pool days this year.

See, her daughter, who is 7, is fighting cancer for a  second time.  And instead of spending the summer outside, drinking up the sun and swimming, she and her daughter are spending their time rotating between the children’s hospital and The Ronald McDonald House.

Here is where the perspective part comes in…

I have three, healthy children but they have been driving me crazy this summer.  There’s been a lot of bickering and not listening and acting out because Daddy is away at school.

I have found SEVERAL gray hairs that were not there a few months ago.  I have had more wine in the past couple of months than I have had in the past year.

It takes 2 hours, literally, for us to get ready to go to the pool.  There’s the packing of the pool bag (which is often interrupted by breaking up fights between my children) – change of clothes for 4 people, snacks, water bottles, extra swim diapers, baby wipes.

Then there’s the part where I have to get all the kids changed into their swimsuits.  I have to fight with my toddler to put it on because everything is “no” these days.

Then there’s the part where I have to get them into the car.  This, as many of you Mamas know, is like herding cats.  All of the sudden they can’t find their shoes that I have been asking them to put on for the last 30 minutes.  And then the baby makes a dirty diaper and I have to change him.  And then my daughter decides she needs to bring 5 books, 3 dolls and a pen and paper so she can writer her own book.

“Can you carry these, Mommy?”  She asks me as she thrusts her superfluous items into my hands, which are already full with a  pool bag, diaper bag and a baby in a car seat.

By the time I get everyone strapped into their seats – I’m exhausted.

There were days this summer that I found myself hoping it would rain so that going to the pool wasn’t an option.  Sometimes I would find excuses as to why we couldn’t go.  Sometimes I found myself rolling my eyes and losing my patience as I tried to get everything ready while they yelled at each other about whose turn it was to play with the little red car.

And then…that post popped up in my Newsfeed…and I thought – Well, shit.

Those two, that Mama and her daughter, would give anything to be able to go to the pool every single day, no matter how long it took them to get ready.

This weekend, I took the kids to the pool every day.  And as I wrestled my toddler into his bathing suit, stopped to feed the baby and packed the millions of things into the pool bag, I was grateful.

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So grateful that I could take my kids to the pool…that we could spend the afternoon there and play Sharks and Minnows and eat watermelon.

Life is ALL about what you make of it.

There are some things you can’t control, of course.  BUT – there are some things you most definitely can – like your thoughts and perspective.

If you change your perspective, does that change everything?

My answer:  YES.  (Case and point:  I happily packed up the pool bag this afternoon PLUS packed dinner for all the kiddos and the whole time I was thinking – even as my toddler, in nothing but his swim diaper, ran away from me as I tried to get him changed – this is going to be fun)

NEVER lose sight of what is TRULY important.

We live in a busy world.  It’s easy to take things for granted.

I will continue to try to do better.  I hope you do, too.

If you would like to learn more about this little girl’s story or how you can help through monetary donations, then go here:

https://www.facebook.com/TeamSavannahFightingLeukemia/

Fear is Fuel

me fearYou know that feeling you get as you contemplate doing something big?  Making a big change?  Making a huge leap?  Taking a chance?

 

Your stomach tightens.  Your heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings.  Maybe your hands shake.  A thousand thoughts race through your head simultaneously yet you are able to pinpoint what each one is trying to tell you – STOP –  they all say.

“Don’t do it.  Go back.  It’s too scary.  It’s not going to work.”

And then…the “what if’s” start…

What if people think it’s a dumb idea?

What if I fail?

What if I lose money?

What if I can’t figure it out?

What if people criticize me?

What if…what if…what if…

All of this…all of these counter-productive thoughts and jittery feelings can be summarized in one four-letter word…

FEAR.

People think “fear” is an ugly word – BUT – what if it weren’t?

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When fear wells up inside of you, what if, instead of backing off, you embrace it?  What if you welcome it with open arms, knowing that when you feel that fear it means you are onto something…it means that you are heading in the right direction?

Kind of counter-intuitive, right?

But, think about it for a  minute.  If something is easy, is it scary?

No, of course not.  Because it’s easy.  If it’s easy, you know you won’t fail – you know the outcome.

The unknown can be down right terrifying.  The “what-if’s” are never scarce and the critics are constantly whispering in your ear.

If you are afraid…that is when you know you are CLOSE – close to something big.  Close to something life-changing.  Close to EXACTLY where you need to be.

Fear means…go for it!  Go for what makes you want to pee your pants.

If it’s easy, it’s not really worth having.  It has little value.

It’s safe to NOT try.  It’s safe to remain comfortable, to keep doing the same thing – day in and day out.  It’s safe to stay with the status-quo and do the ORDINARY things everyone else around you is doing.

BUT

If you want to be EXTRAordinary…then there is a different path for you.

If it’s HARD.  If it’s SCARY.  If you can’t imagine life without it (“it” refers to whatever your particular goals are) then it is PRICELESS.  All the hard work…the time…the effort…the energy…it will all be WORTH it.

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Use that FEAR to FUEL your fire…to ignite your desires…to smoke the nay-sayers and to light up your life in ways you have only dreamed about.

 

 

 

 

 

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You can find me on Facebook @thisfitlife

Just Go For It

I’ve been taking a lot of risks lately – not physical risks like skydiving or bungee jumping…but more of the emotional type of risks.

I have just been going for it – and guess what?  It feels AHH-MAZING!

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I’ve been reaching out to people and asking them to be a part of my team (Team Fight For Fit).  I’ve been asking people if they would like to join challenge groups to work on their health and fitness.  I have been connecting with old friends I haven’t seen in a while (like years) and asking them to hang out.

I am going after what I want.  I am going after what I want my life to look like.  I’m being more authentically ME.

Even when the people I reach out to don’t respond or they say no – you know what?  I feel PROUD.  I’m proud of myself.  Proud that I tried.  Proud that I won’t keep wondering “what if” because now I have an answer.

The rejections I get.  The silence on the other end.  It means I’m LIVING.  It means I’m working towards my dreams.

And do you know something else I’ve recently realized?  It’s not about whether the person says yes to joining my team or not.  It’s not about whether the person responds or not to my offer…it’s actually NOT about the outcome at all.

Before, I used to think it was ALL about the end result.  That’s how you measure success – how many “yes’s” you get, how many people you recruit, how much money is in the bank – BUT I’m here to tell you it’s NOT!

As I put myself out there more and more, share my personal thoughts and feelings, share my transformations (inside and outside) I realize it’s all about the PROCESS.  It’s about who I am becoming.

I am becoming STRONGER.  More confident.  More sure of what I want for myself.  Of who I want to be.  Of my purpose in life (besides wife and mother).

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So, today I say to you:  Do what scares the CRAP out of you.  Do that one thing that you are afraid to do.

Climb that wall.  Jump that hurdle.  Because, what’s on the other side is BEAUTIFUL.  It may not look like what you expected, BUT it’s beautiful all the same.

 

 

The Other 95 Percent

Did you know that 95% of people in the world will never reach their full potential?

That is A LOT of people who are choosing to live an average life…who are choosing to settle for mediocrity.

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They will never have the life they want, the job they want, the income they want, the relationship they want, the friends they want, the house they want, the body they want….(the list could go on) because they are NOT willing to put the work in.

This is a sad and unfortunate truth.  How many people do you know who WISH for something different in their lives but are not doing anything about it?  They continue to do whatever it is they are doing to uphold whatever level of mediocrity they have achieved because they don’t know what else to do.  They aren’t willing to put in the work…to make a CHANGE…

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It is all up to YOU.  The choice is yours…do you settle for what you have or do you GO FOR IT???

At the end of my life I want to be able to say, “I gave it my all.  It wasn’t perfect.  I wasn’t the best.  But I gave it everything I had.  No regrets.”

Change is scary – I get it!!!  It’s much easier to do what you’ve always done…or is it?

Is it easier to continue to be overweight instead of exercising and eating healthy?

Is it easier to continue being depressed than it is to go get the help you need?

Is it easier to stay in a job you hate than to find a new one?

Only you can answer that…but for me…it’s a no-brainer.  I would choose exercising, getting help and finding a new job any day over continuing to do something that isn’t working for me.

How do I know?  Because I’ve been there!  For years I’ve done things that weren’t working for me and I continued to do them because I just didn’t know what else to do.  Was I happy?  Hell no!  Was I always looking for something else?  Hell yes!

Finally, I found BeachBody and coaching and I knew deep in my bones that this was it…that this opportunity could be something HUGE – huge for me mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.

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I have BIG dreams.  I have BIG goals and I will not stand in my way.  That’s right – I said “I will not stand in MY way.”

Are you willing to do what the other 95% are not?  And if you are…and when you do…people will judge.  They will judge and form opinions about what they don’t understand.

They will talk.  They will laugh.  They will point fingers.

But you know what?  LET THEM.

Because those are the people who will remain in the 95% while you, my dear, will be rising to the top 5%.

 

Across the Bridge

“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away. Or eat it away. Or starve it away. Or walk it away. Or punch it away. Or even therapy it away. It’s just there. You have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it. And love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge built by your own desire to heal.” – Cheryl Strayed

WOW.

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This is real, y’all! This is raw. This is life.
Life is not perfect. Life is not easy. Life is going to throw all kinds of crap your way and then sit back and watch you struggle to make a choice as to what to do with it…Did you catch that? A CHOICE…you have a choice. You can CHOOSE to either let the crap hit you in the head and knock you down OR you can choose to stand up and fight.
I’m going to share something with you. It’s not something I like to share openly because truth be told, even though this happened several, several years ago, it still hurts when I really stop and think about it. I hurt for the girl I used to be. I feel sad for what I let happen to me instead of CHOOSING to make something happen.
I didn’t have many friends growing up. I got picked on a lot. I was ALWAYS the last or second to last person to be picked for the kickball team during P.E. I was not athletic. I was not cute. I had buck teeth. I was scrawny and I had big, round glasses.
I didn’t feel good about myself. I didn’t like how I looked or who I was. And people knew it. How? I don’t know, but people pick up on that crap in a heartbeat and attack every chance they get.
I think 6th grade was my nerdiest year. It was also my worst year. I had one friend, maybe two.

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At lunch, my friend and I would sit at the furthest table in the back of the cafeteria, as if we wanted to blend into the white, plaster wall. She also had thick glasses, thicker than mine and was incredibly scrawny and as you can guess, not athletic in the least. When she missed school because she was sick or on a trip, I didn’t have anyone to sit with in the cafeteria.
I’m sure you can remember what a school cafeteria is like – a swarm of kids, all of those judging eyes, the popular kids sitting at a few tables in the middle, the rest of the kids scattered about the cafeteria, desperately trying to fit in.
On the days that I didn’t have anyone to sit with, I chose to slink to the bathroom, sit on a toilet seat (so gross) and either eat my sandwich or cry or sometimes, if I was really hungry, I would cry and eat my sandwich. What can I say? I’ve always been a multi-tasker…

I didn’t tell anyone about this. No one knew. Not my family, not my mom, not my dad…no one. The humiliation was too deep. At home I could pretend that everything was fine. And then I could get into my bed at night and cry myself to sleep.

Thankfully, I am not that girl anymore. But it wasn’t a short ride. It was a long, bumpy, arduous and scary road. Sometimes I got lost along the way. Sometimes I thought I was taking a shortcut but I would end up right back where I started. Sometimes I gave up and had to begin again when I finally got up off my knees.

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I am still riding along that road, trying to find my way, but the difference now is I know who I am, where I’m going and who I want to be when I get to the other side of that bridge where my happiest and best dreams are.

I am telling you this because I am proof that you can CHOOSE what to do with your life and how to live it. You can CHOOSE how to handle the hard stuff. You can CHOOSE to take care of yourself, to eat right and exercise, to take care of your mental and emotional health or you can CHOOSE to make excuses. It’s up to you.

Here are some resources to help you:

Articles:
http://www.essentiallifeskills.net/overcoming-adversity.html

5 Tips on Overcoming Adversity

Book – Daring Greatly by Brene Brown – find it here:
http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419
Book – 52 Ways to Live a Kickass Life by Andrea Owen – find it here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1440564779/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1440564779&linkCode=as2&tag=yokiasli-20
Website:
http://yourkickasslife.com/

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