14 Mar HOW do you talk
I have a question for you….how do you talk to yourself?
And no, I don’t mean where you are when you talk to yourself (we all do it, don’t lie) or why you talk to yourself or where you are when you talk to yourself…I mean HOW.
HOW do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? HOW do you talk to yourself when you look in the mirror? HOW do you talk to yourself when you accomplish something? HOW do you talk to yourself when you fail?
It’s kind of a hard question, isn’t it? Most of us don’t think about what we actually say to ourselves. It’s automatic. The thoughts just come and that little voice whispers in our head and then we go on our way and we either end up feeling like crap because of that little voice or we end up feeling really good because of that little voice. It can go either way.
These automatic thoughts are SO important because they impact how you feel! Did you know that your thoughts can determine how you feel about yourself? About your life? About other people?
Did you know that you can CHOOSE to change your thoughts? You can CHOOSE to change how you feel about yourself, your life and others.
That’s impossible – you might say – I don’t have control over my thoughts or how I feel.
Now that we’ve talked about this and I’ve pointed these automatic thoughts out to you, you’ll start noticing them. You’ll begin to listen for that voice inside your head.
What is it saying to you? Do you find a lot of automatic negative thoughts running through your head? Then STOP them and CHANGE them!
You may think I’m nuts (and that’s okay) and you may think I’m full of feces (and that’s okay too) but I encourage you to try it anyway!
Here are some steps you can take to start changing things around
- Notice your automatic negative thoughts. Pay attention when they come.
- Argue with them. Tell them off. You can say something as simple as: Stop. I’m not going to think like that anymore.
- Replace that negative automatic thought with a positive one.
- That’s it! Easy, right?
- Actually, no…it’s not…but it is possible.
It takes practice. How do I know? Because I do this! I still have negative thoughts (gasp) but I also know how to combat them. Some thoughts take longer than others to grapple with. Some are more ingrained in others.
It’s freakin’ hard BUT I also promise you it’s totally and completely worth it!
I’ll give you one of my own examples:
My automatic negative thought: I am not a good mother because my child keeps having tantrums. I am doing something wrong. I can’t fix this. It’s getting worse.
- Result – I feel like crap about myself. I feel like I’m not good enough or worthy enough to be a mother.
My positive thought that I CHOSE to replace this negative thought with: I am enough. I am doing the best I can. I am trying. This is a phase. It will eventually pass. I will support her, love her and give her what she needs as best I can while keeping in mind that I have to take care of myself too. It will eventually be okay.
- Result – I feel better. I don’t feel wonderful or perfect, but I feel better. I know I have the skills and strength to get through this.
Do you see how that works? It’s AMAZING…seriously.
Practice this! Treat yourself with kindness! Pay attention to your thoughts and talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend!
Here are some resources to guide you further:
Book Recommendation: You’re a Badass by Jen Sincero
Book Recommendation: 52 Ways to Live a Kickass Life by Andrea Owen
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