02 Feb Dear Mamas
I see you.
I see how hard it is.
I see how you are trying to do everything – be a wife, a mom, a friend, a chef, a taxi-driver, a teacher, a tour guide, a cruise director, a nurse, a counselor, a disciplinarian, a cheerleader, a party planner, a housekeeper, a playmate, a secretary…
I see the sadness in the depths of your eyes because you don’t know who you are anymore. You aren’t sure how you got here…how you lost yourself…how you let things get so far…
I see the fatigue in your smile, the drag in your step and the way you wilt when you stand because you don’t have the energy to hold yourself upright anymore.
I see you doing everything for everyone else. BUT yourself.
Why do we do this?
Why do we feel guilty if we want to get a babysitter and do errands by ourselves? Why do we feel guilty if we desperately want to go back to work because the thought of playing cars and trucks for one more day is almost unbearable? Why do we feel guilty when we take time to do something for ourselves? To workout or meal prep or even buy a new dress?
Why do we feel like we have to do everything and if we aren’t doing everything than we aren’t enough?
Mamas, I see you.
I know the struggles.
I know the stress. The pull and tug of daily obligations. Everyone else’s constant needs weighing on your mind, tapping you on the shoulder and whispering “Mama, do this for me. Mama, do that for me.”
And as their needs, their wants and their desires come to the forefront, yours gets pushed further and further back to the recesses of your mind until you forget what you wanted in the first place…until you forget who you used to be…until you are nothing more than a mom.
Mamas, I see you.
I know you have dreams. I know you have goals. I know you want to take a shower more than twice a week. I know that you can do anything – if you just set your mind to it. If you just make some adjustments. If you just take some time out for you.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. Being a mother is a beautiful thing. It is a gift. Truly.
The love for another human being – the love that begins to grow even before you meet that human – it is nothing short of magic. The need to protect your child no matter what – that is a magnetic force. You would do anything for your child. You would die for your child. And I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for mine.
But..they also drive you crazy. Like legitimately certifiable. They make you want to scream, drink a glass of wine, tear your hair out and hug your knees and rock in the corner all at the same time.
But…they also bring you SO much joy. Fill your heart to over-flowing…til your head spins and you think you are going to split in half from all of the intense feels. Like when your daughter is playing tag with friends but she stops to pick a daisy in the field and gives it to you. Or when your son comes up to you and puts his little arms around you and randomly says, “I love you, Mommy.” Or when you walk into the room and your baby’s eyes light up at the very sight of you.
Those sweet, tiny moments…those are beautiful. Those make it all worth it.
And even though it is so hard and so wonderful all at the same time, that doesn’t mean you get to neglect yourself. That doesn’t mean you get to stop doing things for you.
Mamas, I see you.
I see that you want things – above and beyond being a mother. And that’s okay.
It’s time to give yourself permission to find yourself again, to do things for you, to make sure your needs are getting met- just like everyone else’s.
Take Action: Now that you’ve read this…what is the next step?
Write a permission slip to yourself. Seriously. Get some paper out. Get a pen out. Sit down and do this.
Write a letter to yourself. Give yourself permission to do the things you want to do, to take care of yourself, to carve out time to workout, to meal prep, to have a spa day….give yourself permission to STOP feeling guilty and to START deeming yourself just as important as everyone else.
Give yourself permission to be a mom but to ALSO be you.
Keep this permission slip in your purse or diaper bag or on your nightstand. Read it whenever you need to. Read it whenever you need a reminder that it’s okay – that it’s okay to sometimes put yourself first or to do something that you want to do instead of what everyone else wants you to do.
It’s okay. You are worth it.
Cheers to Balance,